


Communication Failure

by Estrea



Category: Morning Musume.
Genre: Dumb children who can't emote, F/F, awkward babies, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 09:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1506053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea/pseuds/Estrea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kudo Haruka just really wanted to talk to Sayashi Riho. Why is it always so hard?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Communication Failure

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

 

Words tossed out flatly, skipping across the sudden silence that appeared between them like a vast lake, before sinking with nary a ripple into the depths. One staring at the chin of the other, who looked away, deliberately not meeting the challenging gaze.

 

"Fine."

 

She let it go. It did not surprise the taller, boyish looking girl, who only ran one hand in barely concealed frustration through her short-cropped hair, biting down the instinctive response and turning on her heel. Away, when all she wanted to do was stay.

 

But she could not, because right now if she stayed anywhere near that infuriating girl named Sayashi Riho any longer, she might kill her. Or possibly kiss her. If she could even muster up the courage to do that. Kudo Haruka could never really be sure where her own feelings ran along that scale. If only Sayashi-san could make it easier for her! But no, that girl was as impossible to navigate as a labyrinth. That shifted. In irregular intervals.

 

It was such a  _stupid_  argument too.  Haruka wasn't sure where the conversation had begun, since their conversations had a habit of running off its rails and reaching uncharted territory in a blink of an eye. They were wildly different as it was, but the attraction was mutual - or at least, Haruka hoped it was. Riho could be painfully vague about how expressing how she really felt, which left the more straightforward Haruka tying herself internally into knots over whether Riho really liked her back or was just going along with it to humour her.

 

_I just wanted to_ ** _know_** _for sure!_  Haruka howled internally, ruffling her own hair in another fit of frustration. The not-so-direct confession had been accepted just as ambiguously, and while it had made Haruka deliriously happy the past few weeks, soon enough she began to question the whole situation.

 

See, it wasn't like anything had  _really_  changed. They chatted a bit more, to be sure. Hung around each other a bit more during work - though, Haruka thought darkly, she was the one making all the first moves to approach Riho. What did the other girl really feel? Did she not care? If Haruka were to stop approaching her, would Riho come over instead?

 

She even tried putting it to the test. Stayed away the whole day, spending it instead with her generation mates and very deliberately not even looking over unless she really had to.

 

To her utter dismay, Riho stayed with  _her_ generation mates too, chatting with Kanon and clinging to Fukuchan in turns. The experiment was an utter failure that day in Haruka's mind, but a part of her rallied and said that she simply needed to extend the test period...

 

Unfortunately, Haruka wasn't so good at staying away from the object of her affection for long periods of time. Before she even knew it, she was back at Riho's side as if nothing had happened, basking happily in her presence while trying desperately to erase that germ of doubt about how Riho really felt about her.

 

And so it went. But every strand has its own breaking point, and Haruka was coming very close to being unravelled by her own anxieties.

 

It would be so much easier if she could just sit down and  _talk_  to Riho. No clever deflections, no subtleties, just pure and direct talk that went straight to the point and hid nothing.  _If only_. Haruka read a lot of shoujo manga where she had often lambasted the heroine for not just coming clean with how she felt, or simply just  _asking_  instead of stewing in her own juices. "Just talk to the guy already!! He likes you!!" Such familiar exasperation at equally familiar characters. Now, it looked like the same joke was on her.

 

It was just  _so hard_  when the feelings were real. Haruka often felt as if her heart would burst just by watching Riho. And it wasn't like Riho was doing anything special. She could just be listening to music or doing her hair or catching up with homework. Even eating. Or sleeping. Riho made Haruka dizzy with a strange kind of joy  _simply by existing._  Even when they were arguing, earlier, Haruka was caught between irritation and a helpless sort of affection towards Riho. Even when she was mad at her, she still loved her. It was extremely annoying.

 

"Agggh I just don't get it!"

 

Haruka wanted to punch a wall. Or bounce off it. Her ankle throbbed, which just made her irrationally madder. Why did Riho have to be so, so  _dense_? And why was she such a coward? It's not even like it was such a huge step, like a k-kiss or anything. It was just, you know, going out! Together! In private! Like, you know, a date!

 

But no, somehow it had come out all wrong and then the whole conversation had gone off track and then suddenly it was just making her mad. Like hopping mad, except hopping would make her ankle hurt, so she simmered instead, not-quite-glaring at Riho who was telling her that she needed to rest her foot more so she could get back to 100%. It was extremely good advice and she knew that it was for her own good really, but she also really wanted to just go out with Riho, even if they couldn't really do anything really fun with her foot being what it was right now. She just wanted to spend a bit more time with her maybe-not-really-but-I-really-hope-so girlfriend. Was that so bad?

 

Eventually, even the well intentioned advice had started to sound like criticism, which led to Haruka's outburst and subsequent stomping away.

 

_And she didn't even stop me..._

 

Haruka mourned internally. It all felt so silly, but sheer pride kept her from going back to grovel in apology for being so abrupt. She needed some time to cool off. For now.

 

_Is love really enough?_

 

Maybe for good.


End file.
